I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
