The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize