we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
