Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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