wrigley field is MILF paradise
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Ladies don't puke and tell
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Your penis caused this!
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