youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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