cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
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She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
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I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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