Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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