I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
