you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
