I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
