you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
