spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
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he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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