How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
