This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
