nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
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i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
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I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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