ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
