I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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