yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
there was a trapeze. enough said
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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