Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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