Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
