i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize