How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
