It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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