Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
