Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
