Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
So gin and wine won't be happening again
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
And then he peed in my hair
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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