everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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