I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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