I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
