i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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