Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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