Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize