I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
