I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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