Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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