i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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