Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
