i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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