He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
