no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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