and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
