i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
