dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
