He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
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