What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
