My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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