is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
