some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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