I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
