I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.