I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
she peed on how many people?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
