Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize