Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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