i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
