i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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