At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I feel like death gave me a hand job
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
